Learning isn't just about getting good grades. When I gathered enough courage to tell her that i was transgender she shot me down completely and I told me that I was just confused and its just a phase teenagers go through. I'm 29 this year, having suicidal thoughts become normal to me till one day I decided to become my own self-motivator. She always calls me worthless and useless and occasionally she even hits me. I'm just about to turn 35, I have no wife and I have no children. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. i cant stand my parents anymore please help me im going crazy, Somewhat the opposite to Andrew but ultimately similar. This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. She now purposefully misgenders me and forces me to wear feminine clothes. Now I am 25, no friends, no work experience, no education, no life skills, and very poor mental health. But I keep thinking back to both experiences and both they make me smile. And yet I'd be. Theyve also brianwashed and tricked everyone into believing they are perfect can do no wrong parents, and even convinced my own therapists that Im a selfish child because they do so much for me (AKA the bare minimum). It's the sweetest season of the year, and we've got the best and brightest releases of 2023. Yesterday a coworker threatened to beat me up and shoot me. Ever since i was a child i had developed depression because i was always in such a negative space. They contend that following the consensus offers a sense of belonging and security. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. I'm turning 22 & I'm not even allowed to have sleepovers or go for sleepovers. Today I am 21, turning 22 at the end of the year & I suffer very bad PTSD, trauma, depression, and suicidal tendencies. I experience a few highs but many low points in life. Did you get a good grade they forgot to praise? Many parents believe that they are only guiding and helping their children when in fact, they are causing harm instead. He found a new wife.Aaand now i have a sister She is like 8 years younger than me.There are some problems thoWhen in school i try the best i can do and in our country its like not A B or C its 6 5 4 And so i get 5 or 6 most of the times and my dad just says "okay,good" but if i get 4 one time he is just so dissapointed in meI feel so bad.Even now thinking about it .Once i told him i want to be a PC fixer (to fix broken pc etc) Then he just said "meh there are enough of them.."Now i want to be a singer but if i tell him he will just laugh or something like that.He wants me to be like himliterally.Then i talked about my sisterso when she wants to play with me or something like that and i say that I don't want cus her games are boring for me my dad is like mad at me .. When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning. If you are old enough, implement ways to move away from your father. Any responsibilities they didn't want fell on me. I then became a parent while my mom went out partying and drinking. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. I have added 1 more explanantion to why i hate myself beyond rage.I actually feel intoxicated when i am hated and can feel it i have destroyed every thing in my life that i would work so hard and get almost to the top and then tear my life apart.my wife i feel sorry for she loves me so.i tried to ruin that for myself to and my prescous kids .they too adore me now that i have destroyed my health i see my life what oportunity ive ruined at least i know im shit so i am greatful for every kindness im shown.i no longer destryu things. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. My whole family hurt my self-esteem by using me as a work-horse. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Seek counselling so you can heal. I'm in my late 20's and still trying to get through life. Shes caused me to have depression and take part in self harm. I have always felt like I wasnt good enough, my parents used to scold me if my grades where not perfect "why did you not get 100%?" Demeaning and comparison by parents is so much that most of the kids starts doing what others are doing rather then choosing their own profession. Question: If you know that your father was from a family of people who homicidally hounded family members to suicide by crushing their self-esteem, is it normal to continue hating such a person until old age? Published: Jan. 18, 2023, 4: . Question: My mom only cares about my grades more than me and is a control freak. But psych yourself up now for getting off to a strong start in September. Every time I expressed an opinion I was ridiculed by the whole family. Some apply corrective or disciplinary methods that can verge on emotional or verbal abuse which damage their children's self-esteem. Talk to a school counselor regarding your parents. My mom didn't even practice with me. My Parents Don't Like my Partner (Boyfriend or Girlfriend), High Pressure for High Grades Leads to High Kids, Effective Ways to Talk to Your Kids so They will Listen, Boosting Your Child's Performance: Encouraging Self-Motivation, Why You Need To Sleep On It: Sleep Helps Your Brain Consolidate New Memories, Why Kids Don't Tell Their Parents They Are Being Bullied, And How To Spot The Signs. Actually, its all hate. Dear Carol, It was only a few weeks into the school year when my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four (!) Also develop self-confidence, you are a beautiful, worthy person- a child of God. I know it does because I see how everyone else gets treated. Question: Why do I feel so guilty when my father points out my siblings flaws? Many parents staunchly believe in blind and mindless conformity. Shitty since I've to put up with them till I can afford my own lodging + am their only offspring - so am the only one to respond to their old age woes which is not far away in time. and if you ask me.. i dont care as much about grades, for me.. if i know that im good in that specific subject but i still get low grades it doesnt really matter to . Help! Internal beauty is far more important than outer beauty. Second therapist is known locally for being pretty good. Though I did live in a brand new house custom built. All throughout my childhood i knew i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary opened my eyes. (She's 92 and can't live for much longer). How to Make Life Easier for you and your Kids. It is only a few evolved, enlightened parents who view & treat their children as individuals. Like there was really no real reason to do anything. I always wondered whats wrong with me and tried to improve it but never could as she always has her comments about me. Family consists of people who LOVE & RESPECT each other. my parents always tell me how am disappointing and how I will fail my tests. I read a lot of self-improvement books to get thru hard times. im in high school, i have all a's and one b. they act like its the end of the fucking world whenever i get anything less than a 100%, and i cant stand it anymore. Answer: Discuss the matter thoroughly with your parents. Your parents & brothers are toxic-GET AWAY FROM THEM! Part of the gym is a mental component, I don't think I'd be able to do this any other way. She essentially tells me I'm wasting my time and money by pursuing anything musical. It important for me to get a good education so incan go to. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. The Addams FamilymeetsThe Westing Gamein this exhilarating adventure about a modern magical dynasty trapped in the ruins of their formerly grand, but now crumbling, ancestral home. But for some reason my parents are the only ones not proud of her. Sleep Deprivation, Behavior, And Academic Performance, I Caught my Child Smoking Marijuana (Pot) Again, Caring For Elderly Parents At Home: How To Cope. i dont like the consequecenes. However, they are doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. The thing is I don't feel like useless.I wanna fight and continue..maybe one day eveyhing will turn.I will continue AND NEVER SURRENDER!!! Please talk to a trusted relative. I'm so depressed right now. Answer: Maybe you feel responsible for your sibling. The scouts and cadets did instill survival instincts into me and in the moments I was free when I was younger you would just see me sprinting bare foot through the forest like some Scrawny tiny white tarzan. somebody on the internet on July 04, 2018: I'm glad I'm not the only person who's going through this. Your math teacher or guidance counselor can probably recommend someone. I thought they were going to kill me. Most parents, unfortunately, have this mindset. I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. now i just have depression wherever i go. But remember that they care about your education because they care about you and your future. Fortunately I have a wonderful mother (who is also criticized by my dad all the time). I hesitate to feel proud of myself ever because in scared that my parents won't look at it to be proud of. How can I help her get out of this situation, and leave her parents for good? Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. So if a young one dares to have a unique, creative, and innovative thought or idea, it is squashed and often labeled as outlandish and weird because nobody else thought of it! Relationship, Friendship & Family problems, How to Deal with a Teenager as a Single Parent, In your third trimester and bored? I just want to cry most of the time. My parents were quite pushy about grades with my brothers. Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. now i am grown i wonder how can you do that to someone you love talkless your own Child - The Other Day my own father asked me WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE , Talking about my first girlfriend and how i failed - What do you think you have achieved !! It's so frustrating and demoralizing. They're not there to make your life worse. I'm not telling you my name on February 02, 2018: Is it healthy if i normally make good grades and I get grounded for one F until I make a B? Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. I've seen a few therapist and a psychologist by my own free will trying to get better. But for this a guiding hand makes a huge impact. Please get help. No one to turn to. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. I feel like if I'm not serving someone, my life has no purpose. they also tend to complain that i act very childish and become really agitated when i put other people who aren't family above them. That was an example of parental alien affection .., learned this in divorce law how parents pitnchildren against parents.. thats wrong and cruel .. I feel that they and most of my family have expectations for every child and if not met you would be just a disappointment. We have received many stories and are working on animating them! it's making me go insane at this point, and i don't know what to do. They should be encouraged. Teach them to enjoy the process and love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams. Everybody got mad at me so I quit the team. When I got to high school I thought about ending the lives of every student and teacher. I sometimes even miss meals just to avoid seeing them because I'm so scared of getting yelled at or verbally abused. "Actually, it's the parents," she confessed with a wince. I believe in you and I don't even know you! they wont even let me take a day off for my health because id have missing assignments afterwards. Like the indent of my life on the footprint on the earth.. Can Low Sciences Grades Derail My Career in Medical School Before Sophomore Year? What should I do? If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. But even though I feel I am making the money I want to make, they constantly tell me "Truckers don't make good money." Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 03, 2018: Please seek counselling. You can't learn if you don't try. I'm unfortunately still with my family. i know i do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes. When I ask them for something they always say when I was your age I wasn't like that! On the other hand, children who saw their parents as putting more emphasis on achievements over being kind to others were more likely to experience negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem, behavior problems, criticism from parents, learning problemsand lower grades. Never picking the right man? they are the only things i would care for. When Can My Teenager Go On A Vacation Without Me? From my perspective, I hate children. They just might be unaware of what is going on with you. One thing for sure, Determination and Perseverance never fail you! I was always left to my own devices, which in a way was good since it made me independent but I experienced the same feeling of abandonment from friends my age too. Do you mean they don't make the figures you want me to make? Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. They don't realize that children need positive reinforcement. and as i grew older i just detached myself from everyone except my siblings. 1 Reply More posts from r/SuicideWatch 394K subscribers No_Investigator_7700 7 days ago They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. You are lucky they provide a roof over your head and food for your stomach. Parents refuse to acknowledge how insidious comparing children are for many children are emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically damaged by comparing them to other children. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 24, 2018: @Kelly, speak to her via telephone. They claim they want me to be happy and content but it just blankets what they're really thinking. Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she doesn't satisfied with everything I did. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 01, 2018: Get counselling & LEAVE THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. My parents are annoying and overpowering horrible people. It is FREE! Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. I have a stored temperdue to being suppressed and snubbed from even showing negative irritation, get blamed for everything they do or that is not of their limited paradigms, heavily criticized for not wearing what clothes they got me (out of "love") or for keeping even a 2 day stubble. honestly, i could go on and on about how completely awful this family is but i rather not. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? They also become passive, believing that they do not count. but whenever i talk to them about these thoughts, they insist it's because i havent eaten properly. Family vote once upon a Time my dad's vote was to be counted as 3pts mom2ots bros1pt me,? Overprotective parents cause children to become dependent adults who will be failures in life. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 25, 2018: Follow YOUR dreams, your mother is a soul destroying person. He exemplifies the immature parent. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. Your performance in school is measured in an identifiable way (your grades) and see what needs to be improved or what you are strong at. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 14, 2018: DON'T KILL yourself. I can't even have a sleepover. not to also mention i was always put down and always compared to my brother. The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. i felt i wasn't loved and when i said that i was beaten for it. My uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc Where raised. Build up rather than tear down is a good strategy to employ. The only time my boyfriend takes care of the baby is for me to take a shower. I'm lucky to have her. Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. With my dad everything always has to be his choice and both of them push me so hard that sometimes I cry. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 28, 2018: Mike, discuss your issue w/a trusted guidance counselor, relative, or a clergyperson. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 27, 2018: Speak w/ a trusted teacher who will refer you to a trusted counselor. They plan their children's lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond. But this psychologist stayed long enough for me to explain what I felt was important. They gave me a opportunity to do it up on a stage. Each day, I'm taking small steps in battling my own emotions and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest. Many parents view their children as THEIR possessions, even trophies. How should I react here? I have terrible times at school and I have no friends to be there for me. When I slip up in an assignment or test, they zero in on it and start to talk to me as if I'm nothing but a mistake to them. How To Deal With Teenagers: How Bad Is Peer Pressure, And Can Parents Influence The Peer Group? Every parent aspires to set their child up for success in adulthood, but pressuring . Many people are living their parents' lives, not their own authentic lives, much to their regret. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to talk to them about it, they just close off their ears and just turn what I say into what they want to think I'm saying. Guess! I have never been allowed to go out and have fun with my friends and I am 14. She is emotionally abusing you & you don't have to take this. Didn't see them for long, found a better job elsewhere. "We just want you to be better off and financially secure" that's a load of crap. WOW!! They assert that such behavior should be a given. These children often feel insignificant and totally unappreciated. Tore Down , I Love You All Because You Feel My Pain ..(God Bless You All ). Such parents demoralize their children in one way or another. Continue to seek self-improvement and one day we can pass through this. His friends would be out in the yard drinking beer with him I knew I should not be in earshot cuz that's man talk not for a lil girls ears so I was to be with my mother wherever she went and I was emotionally neglected. I just asked my parents if I could go to a coffee shop to study tomorrow and dad was yelling at me from the start cause I ask stupid questions. What do I care? Question: After not being able to date and having your critical narcissistic mother and kind/go-along father force your career, marrying a violent man, would you say my problems stem from low self-esteem? Discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a teacher. Struggling to cope with things beforehand were fine to me. I am happy with where I am at. Answer: Discuss the matter with a relative & perhaps report your mother to a human services agency which deals with child abuse. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), h mama(@tzomama), 11/08/21(@lostwithmarshy), ewww(@skinkycaca), my name is lani(@secretaccountt140), miles buchart(@milesnueman), DONT CALL ME CUTE I BEG U(@albedo_realwife), dump(@potatongina_00), Idk 2.0(@user266279192), cosmic (@if.ur.sad . Bad experience.. don't believe, then she retired. Parents believe that they apply corrective measures because they care for their children. View complete answer on consumeraffairs.com Whenever I do want to hang with my friends she makes me feel bad by saying"does nothing else happen and what is going on in ur brain." Recently my grandmother passed away and left me a bit of money, so I'm going to a gym and gotten myself a person trainer employed by this gym, that is coaching me. Her parents were lazy, uneducated, and short-sighted. I checked off about 7-8 ways I've been hurt. "when will that thing you ordered arrive?" Truth. I dont know if she will ever approve of me, i think shes the only reason iam trying so hard and i dont think i can change in anyway iam 25 and i dont have the energy. I got to see them again after a month. Question: I feel like my parents do not trust me. Discuss her concerns w/her. One day, you'll understand. Direct a movie and we'll give you an iconic film to binge this weekend. Answer: Overprotective parents view their children as somehow deficient. However, many disciplinary and corrective measures irreparably damage or negatively impact a child's self-esteem. Making mistakes is an integral part of a child's learning and growth process. I am passive, I think everyone else has more power. So she never gave it to me. but it does to my parents it seems like they only care about grades and not about my knowledge of stuff. I've never had money so I've never been able to take care of myself. These parents maintain that they should never have to praise their offspring for things such as having good behavior, doing chores without being asked, or earning good grades. One thing I can't believe is the stupidity I near from relatives and others i.e. Many parents fail to realize this. When I was younger I had a really profound experience people found my perspective funny. Really thankful for it, I've been trying to be super human. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 20, 2018: Get help & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your family. Many parents refuse to acknowledge this. Help the child develop a winning attitude and approach to goal setting and see what happens. But them telling me that everyday is enough to ruin my day. I never had much mentors in my life, my parents weren't much of the type to look up to. Pray please pray to God in the name of Jesus because He has a purpose for you and your life. There also where a lot of little other events between mom and me that resulted in me feeling like shit all day and now that my dad moved out as they divorced the one person who cares about me is not here as often anymore. My parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I've only realized this while now in my late 20s. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. They believe individualities are flaws that need correction. Many parents want their kids to be as physically and emotionally flawless as possible. These are the books we're crushing on this winter, 6 valuable lessons we learned from the Frog and Toad books, The difference between young adult and new adultand why it matters, Your step-by-step schedule for the ultimate New Year's Eve, 5 holiday dessert recipes you need to start making every year, 5 things to consider in your college search, Affordable birthday gifts your bestie will love, How to *actually* get stuff done when you're tired. The problem is that this approach doesn't turn your children into lifelong learners. now i have reason to believe that my parents are horrible. Teaching your child to accept mistakes and failures positively is a good way to go about things. My mother's parenting, somewhat pushy and demanding, came from the knowledge that life could be harsh and a well intentioned desire for her children to be tough and prepared for anything. The parents, & quot ; Actually, it & # x27 ; s the,... For sleepovers and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices mindless conformity developed because... 'S 92 and ca n't learn if you my parents only care about my grades a failure that needs correcting are me! Be failures in life the parents, & quot ; Actually, &... Awful this family is but I keep thinking back to both experiences and both make... Much to their regret have to take this rather than tear down is a good education so go. Or guidance counselor can probably recommend someone from birth to marriage to career and.! Life worse anymore please help me im going crazy, Somewhat the opposite to but. I do n't even know you the type to look up to and emotionally flawless as possible n't! Both experiences and both they make me smile be unaware of what is going on you. Easier for you and your life its not going to work out me. T turn your children into lifelong learners help me im going crazy, Somewhat the to. 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